It’s midnight, and I have finals tomorrow, but I tend to feel a lot more at night.. And that’s when I need to write. You’ve really hurt me, do you know that? Why did you do that? What did I do? Did I care too much, or love too much? Because all my intentions were pure with you, and I never wanted you to hate me.
I liked being alone, or I at least convinced myself I was better off that way. I thought that I wasn’t smart or good enough, to be with someone, not pretty enough. It didn’t matter if I was, because those were the constricted limits of my perception. But you came along. You’ve changed me for the better. And then you left, without saying goodbye
I know my feelings were real because it hurts so much. It’s been weeks and I still cry when I’m left alone with my thoughts, and everyday, it gets worse and worse, and I can’t miss you anymore, I don’t want to. You’ve dug a hole deep in my chest. You broke my heart and I hate you, because even after all that, I still love you. And I don’t think you understand what these words mean, because I’ve wanted to say them for so long, but I didn’t want you to run away. I’ve never wanted to say them to anyone before. Unfortunately, i fell for I guy I can never have.
Hopefully one day, I’ll be able to look back at what happened and it won’t hurt so much anymore, maybe I wont feel so sore. There’s no quick way to fix it. I guess this kind of pain is just something you learn to live with.