See, you’ve moved far away, and I thought it would be a good idea to visit you even though all my friends strongly disagreed about it. I didn’t  really know what to expect, landing alone in a city I’ve only been to 9 years ago, but you were already waiting for me, even though I told you I’d text you when I landed. You didn’t kiss me. Sure, 5 months had passed, but you always kissed me when you saw me. You seemed happy and distant at the same time, and it confused the shit out of me.. But that’s something I’ve grown used to with you. Yet, when we got to see your brother, you said to me you were as excited to see him than you were to see me.

You say you’re not interested in me, yet you want me for yourself when we are with other people. Why can’t you see my worth? I mean, you think I’m pretty, fun, and you say I’m one of the few who can really understand you. You say sex is amazing, and that you’d missed it. What’s missing?

I’ve experienced firsthand the way we act together, the way people look at us. At some point, you’ve got to realize that even though we kept telling them we weren’t a couple, they must have had their reasons to not believe us. We’ve known each other for a year (happy tinderversary, by the way) and we are pretty darn close to being identical. We can relate to similar stuff, we like the same things most of the time. You make me feel more complete, and I know I fill a void in you, whatever that void is. Because you can’t just hold me closer to you, not wanting me to pack my stuff the day I’m leaving when you feel nothing for me.

People expect us to end up together. Even my friends. Even though they hate how you act with me, they still see how much potential we could have. Your own brother thinks you are a dick for not realizing that you a taking for granted an amazing girl.

Sorry for wasting so much coffee. I’ve never had coffee. I don’t know how all the coffee machines work. But do you know a lot of people who enjoy getting up a bit earlier just to make you coffee ? Do you know a lot of people who genuinely act the way I do towards you ?

I don’t know, it might only be what I want. Who really knows what goes on in that head of yours. But you keep coming back, sending me random stuff when I don’t text you for a while. Maybe I’m just an easy fuck…

I’m not saying I’m perfect. I know I’m not. I’m not the most amazing person in the world, nor the prettiest or the smartest. I have good and bad days, and I can be a bit crazy sometimes, but I know my worth, and I just hope that one day, you realize you’ve missed out on so much.

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